When I was younger I played a lot of soccer. That was my sport. I pretty much only played soccer. A little baseball when I was really young but not much. One thing I always struggled with was flexibility in my calves. For as long as I can remember, my calves have been VERY tight. And they still are to this day.
I was in class last night and Angie had us doing splits prep among other hamstring and calf stretches. I was hating it but doing the best I could to let go and find more length than I ever had before. I was struggling though pretty much as I always do.
In the midst of my struggle, I was reminded of my lifelong struggle with this same part of my body. For a moment I was back on the soccer field at one of my practices bitching and moaning and listening to the coach yell at me to stretch further. It wasn’t necessarily a bad memory, just an interesting experience given that a stretch could take me back in time like that. Not to mention that it sort of distracted me from the discomfort I was feeling at that moment.
When I was in that moment of struggle and remembering my childhood struggles, I consciously chose to let go. What led me there was I realized that I was tense from the discomfort of the posture and tense from the memories of that lifelong struggle. I also realized that the only way I was going to get past it was to accept it and basically deal with it. The first thing I did was to relax parts of my body that were not really in any discomfort from the pose itself and I found that I immediately moved further into the pose. It was subtle and I’m sure if anyone had somehow had a telepathic bond with me at that moment and knew what I was thinking, they would not have noticed the physical shift that happened. But I did and it felt great. I began to feel like I was going further than I had before. It was definitely subtle but it was a big milestone for me.
I am currently reading Rolf Gates book “Meditations from the Mat” and when I got home last night I spent about an hour reading it. The book is written with the intention that one read a daily writing by Rolf each day over one year. I personally am choosing to read it in large chunks because that works better for me and honestly, it’s such a great book I can’t stop reading it once I start. He is so insightful and has experienced an amazing journey of his own. Definitely an inspiring person and an inspiring personal story.
Anyway, one of the daily thoughts he shares discusses how our bodies hold memories in our muscles. Not only did I find it rather ironic that I had just experienced this (a little puff from my Wind maybe?) but it also suddenly became clear to me what my various Guru’s (read “amazing teachers at Yoga South”) mean when they say that “we hold our emotional baggage in our hips” and similar statements. I didn’t realize it when I was having the experience in class but it was suddenly very clear.
I love it when I have these discoveries. Keeps me going on this Path. Makes me look forward to my next practice.