So I've written quite a bit in the last month. Much more than I thought I would when I began this exploration. I think I had things on my mind and things to explore and found that writing helps me to cement the ideas or feelings I am having. Reflective of my life, my yoga and spiritual journey is a roller coaster. I got frustrated and impatient, I revisited a memory or two, I struggled with fear and wrote about a few other experiences.
Right now I am still riding that coaster. It's a funny thing though, this amusement park that is my life. The more I ride the rides - the more I push those edges of fear - the more I can handle. It's like the first time I rode a little kiddy roller coaster when I was a boy and I was scared to death but the more I rode it, the more I felt like it wasn't that big of a deal anymore. So I moved up in the world and rode the one that was a little taller and a bit faster. Then I rode the one that went upside down. You get the picture. Basically, I'm getting better at dealing with the highs and the lows and the twists and turns in between.
Anyway, I don't have much to say right now. I just celebrated my birthday last Sunday. I turned 33. It was good. I partied too much. I thought a lot about life (which I do a lot) and getting older. To continue with my love affair with metaphors, I thought a lot about how when I was younger I used to think how old 40 seemed. Like when you first start climbing a mountain it seems so huge and so far up in the sky. But as you climb and get a perspective from it's back, it doesn't seem so tall anymore. I am more and more realizing that 40, even 60, isn't as old as I once thought. Makes me happy because I think about being able to practice for many more decades. On the other hand, having partied a bit too much over the weekend, makes me realize you important yoga has become for me. I haven't been in a week due to a weak constitution. I am going tonight. Should be interesting and I can't wait.