I cannot explain what is going on. I guess it's just another one of those phases that I seem to go through on a continual basis. All I know is I am frustrated. And I have been for probably 2 weeks now. Not constantly but enough so that I might as well have been. It's very confusing for me. Usually this type of thing happens in quick phases to me and then I am back to my generally happy, laid back, optimistic self.
Additionally, I am going in about a BILLION different directions (yes, BILLION is my word of the month) in my mind and in my reality right now. I don't even know where to start. I want to express several things. Maybe address is a better way of putting it given my frustrated state of mind right now. Use these words to address (and express) my frustration - that's the ticket. I'll devote one paragraph (or maybe more for the more intense topics to each one of the current topics de jure.
First of all, why can't we all just get along? That's my question for the Universe. On the way to work the other day, someone sort of, kind of cut off someone else and the someone else in that equation gave the someone the finger. It really was not a big disruption to the someone else's existence but my god you would have thought he was going to have a heart attack. What the frig is up with that? Then at a light just a few minutes later, someone laid on their horn because someone else wasn't fast enough off the line when the light turned green. All I have to say is ...
"Come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, try and love one another right now." ~~ The Youngbloods
Second, what is up with the world and it's general attitude right now? If you aren't an optimistic person, I feel for you. According to the media, the world is going to hell (and on certain cable channels we're already there). There's war and more war and then there's that global warming/end of the world thing and then there's murder and crime and the list goes on and on and on. I can't watch the news. I must stop watching the news. Don't even get me started about all the damn crime shows. It's all about negativity and fear. WHY? What is it about negative events that makes us want to watch TV shows about it?
Next - I LOVE YOGA. Dude, if that isn't clear then it ain't ever gonna be. But get this. I haven't practiced in like 2 weeks (maybe that explains my frustrated state of mind?!?) and yesterday my awesome, gorgeous, loving wife was going to take the girls and let me practice. I proceeded to NOT BE IN THE MOOD. Dude, that's like me not being in the mood for sex. I think it just added to my frustration.
This is a continuation of the previous topic but is another topic. Instead of practicing, I decided to go to the movies with Marcia, my girls and Dolly. We went to see Click with Adam Sandler. GREAT movie. I almost balled my eyes out but didn't want my girls or Dolly to see me crying (I have no idea why really). It's a good yoga movie if you ask me. Dude basically (and literally) fast forwards through his life on auto-pilot and then realizes that he missed the whole thing and wants it all back. If that isn't a metaphor for being present, I don't know a better one. I definitely recommend the movie to anyone attempting to practice yoga in all aspects of their life.
"I'll tell you this ... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn." ~~ Jim Morrison
LASTLY (or at least for today), why does life have to be so hard sometimes? Why can't we all just give in to what we REALLY want? If you ask me, that would be love, happiness, abundance, zero stress, lots of free time and no worries about the future. We could do it. We could decide to do it. The problem is that we'd have to do it on such a massive scale it's not realistic. But if we did, all we'd have to do is decide to give up money and status and achievement and jealousy and envy and material desires and probably a long list of other things. Then we'd have to decide to agree on everything and live together in a general commune state. The reality is that will never happen I know. And that just adds to my frustration. Why does human nature have to promote such a challenging culture? I don't get it. I guess it's just part of that path that I am on. It's damn frustrating though to be able to envision so clearly a reality that within me seems so possible but to know in my heart that it's not. Dolly gave Marcia a sticker that says "Begin Within" and that pretty much says it all I think. Whoever "wrote" that understood the gravity of the challenge. We just have to start by making changes in ourselves. I am definitely one that needs to heed those words and heed them more often I must say.