A Special Dedication

I know. I do this kind of thing a lot. It's a weakness. I simply cannot help myself. It definitely goes beyond words and I think I've figured out that it goes way beyond love too. It's a spiritual mystery that can only be explained by feeling the actual feeling that is involved.

She's a thing of glory, a thing of beauty, a thing of wonder. She is unworthy of words because words cannot describe her. She is my girl and I am a sucker for her. She is my wife.

No matter what I do, I can't get over her. I'm like a teenager who has just made love for the first time. Except that it's been more than ten years. When I see her, smell her, hear her or am just near her, I am giddy. I want to touch her, hold her, kiss her, and just love her up. Sometimes it's all I can think about.

If you've read any of my Journey, it's probably pretty clear that I am evolving and have been for some time now. I attribute a large part of this to Marcia being in my life and supporting me as I've made my way down my Path. In many respects she has been one of my most important guides. Often when I've found myself staring at the place that my Feet should be and seeing only Weeds covering both my Feet and my Path, Marcia has been there, just down the Path from me and has drawn my eyes up, away from the Weeds so that I could see the Path ahead. I owe her much for who I am and where I am today.

She also puts up with me which is quite a feat. Because, let me tell you that I have my moments. No matter how present I am and how hard I am trying to be a good yogi, they are frequent and she deals. She's patient with my hormonal outbursts, my pack rat habits and my sometimes laid back approach to certain necessary (if not culturally ridiculous) responsibilities.

All in all she is perfect to and for me.

I've always related to a song by Shawn Mullins titled "Evolution Man." It has always seemed fitting to me. Today, I finally decided to look up the lyrics. At first it comes across as a sad song - both in verse and in tone. But I see it differently. In the song, She does for Him what Marcia has done for me with the exception that Marcia has always been a part of what I want. So I see myself as the Evolution Man, Part II. I'm still evolving, still seeking but I've found a few things that I know for sure and Marcia was the first and in a very important sense, the last.

He's a walkin' contradiction when he sings his verse.
He's got a caffeine fix addiction but it could be worse.
And he is loved by many understood in time.
But it's easier to love him than to try to read his mind.
He's a mass of words expression and toil,
and his temples in the trees, the water and the soil --
he's a man of evolution, always changing like the seasons.
He finds the right solution but gets lost in his own reason,
and he's got a ways to go.
I know he's doing what he can.
Sometimes this world's a lonely place for the evolution man,
but she's always been there for him.
She's his steady ground, and he'll never ever own her,
it's the other way around.
'Cause she's the way out of here,
she's the needle in his vein,
and he knows she's the only thing that will ever stop the pain.
He stands there naked in the light giving all he's got.
Most folks don't understand that
we're no different than the rocks and stones.
To the evolution man she said,
I got a funny feelin' that I'm headed somewhere new and
there ain't no use in stealin' your sweet sweet dream from you
'cause I know you'll find what you want if I set you free...
and I'll still be here if you find that what you want is me,
'cause it's a long and lonely road.
I know you're doing what you can
but I never thought it would be so hard to love
the evolution man.
You're an evolution man.

Shawn Mullins, Evolution Man